the life of a consultant in the late 90s

… in the strongest German accent in English I had heard in a long time. Obviously stereotypical he was tall, blonde, blue eyes, etc. and goes "… and when the gas masks come down you pull them to your face _immediately_ and breathe hard".

All Hell breaks loose in the first row of economy… out comes the boss of the cabin crew to calm them, etc. etc.

Flight eventually takes off, mid-Siberia I am watching "Entrapment" on the 6" LCD (or something similarly small) when it stops just at the end when things are getting to the conclusion. They rewind VHS tape¹ and try again. It breaks down again. Repeat several times.

My work partner (Italian, like me) shouts "c…o² , tecnologia tedesca di merda" (translated: "f..k, shit German technology"), I add "Vorsprung durch Technik mica tanto" (translated: "Progress through technology [the Audi motto] not so much").

The steward from the security briefing comes to our row… we get the hardest bollocking ever, in a mixture of German and English. We shrink into our seats and don't breathe until the end of the flight.

Finally get home to find my reissued credit cards so that I can go get my monthly Travelcard back.

What a trip… ​
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¹ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VHS - the one which lost to the better Betamax and a famous example of "the best technology does not necessarily win" (cf. Windows & x86).
² moderately rude Italian swearword.

The creator of the #Unix `find` command arrives at the pearly gates of heaven.

Saint Peter: salvation must precede expression: `/eternity'
Saint Peter: possible unquoted pattern after predicate `-judgement'?